Women drivers

This morning on the Freeway,
I looked over to my left and there was a

Woman

in a brand new

Holden Calaise


doing 110 kms per hr

with her
face up next to her

rear view mirror

putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away

for a couple seconds


and when I looked back she was

halfway over in my lane,


still working on that makeup.


As a man,

I don't scare easily.


But she scared me so much;

I dropped

my electric shaver,


which knocked

the meat pie

out of my other hand.

In all
the confusion of trying

to straighten out the car

using my knees against
the steering wheel,


it knocked

my mobile phone


away from my ear


which fell


into the coffee

between my legs,


splashed,


and burned


Big Jim and the Twins,


ruined the phone,


soaked my trousers,


And disconnected an

important call.


bloody women drivers!!