Drunk Halloween

Happy Halloween to those in North America, & others around the world who are into Halloween.

Here is what it might look like if the Halloween celebrations are taken too far:

Maradona is Argentina's new coach!

Newsflash! Football headline of the day, possibly the month, & possibly the whole year: Diego Armando Maradona is now Argentina's new coach! Yes, I cannot believe it either, but it has happened. Argentina's greatest ever footballer, possibly the world's greatest footballer of all time, has just been appointed by the Argentine Football Association as head coach of his beloved national team.

Maradona replaces Alfio Basile, who recently resigned after a string of poor results & performances by the Argentina football team. Basile has been under fire in recent months, during which Argentina's results have included a large number of draws against opposition that they are expected to beat comfortably, given the enormous amount of talent & potential in the Argentina players. The most recent result, the 1-0 loss away to Chile in a World Cup qualifier, was considered embarrassing & unacceptable enough to sound alarm bells & prompt much gnashing of teeth among Argentinian football fans. That result pushed Basile to the edge & he eventually resigned.

Quite what prompted the Argentinian football fraternity to appoint a man with limited top-level coaching experience, I don't fully know & might never fully understand. That lack of coaching experience is the main reason I'm not convinced that Maradona's appointment is the right move. I wouldn't have gone for him. There are a number of coaches with a lot more experience, who would seem more suited at present for the coaching position.

Carlos Bianchi: He's very experienced with solid track record, won plenty of Argentinian & South American club trophies with Boca Juniors.

Miguel Angel Russo: Like Bianchi, he has led Boca Juniors to become champions of South America. Before that, he won a number of titles with several other Argentinian clubs (Lanus, Estudiantes, Velez Sarsfield), so he knows how to build a side to success. He has also had spells coaching clubs in Spain, Mexico & Chile.

Sergio Batista: He coached Argentina to the gold medal at Beijing Olympics, so he knows how to relate to Argentina's talented young generation, though less experienced than Bianchi & Russo.

Hugo Tocalli: He won a couple of World Youth Cups for Argentina, so like Batista, he also has a rapport with the young Argentinian footballers.

Other names bandied around include Diego Simeone & Gabriel Batistuta, both of whom played for Argentina at the World Cup 1998. And then, some have suggested re-appointing past Argentina coaches like Daniel Passarella, Marcelo Bielsa & Jose Pekerman. On top of all that, there are a couple of other candidates who have escaped me. But Argentina are clearly not short of viable options for the coaching vacancy. Yet they went for Maradona. Nothing against him, but like I said, he doesn't have much coaching experience. Another thing is that his temperament can be questioned - he is never known for his calmness. Can he cope with all the intense pressure & scrutiny? If things turn sour, can he be relied on to make sound decisions?

For all my misgivings, there are some points that would appear to be in Maradona's favour.

One, his passion. He loves the Argentina team & fans can rely on him to do his utmost to bring success to his team. He will ensure his players play with the sort of passion that some feel has been lacking under Basile.
Two, his winning mentality. He has won the World Cup before as a player, so he knows what it's like to win & what it takes to win on a big stage. Yes, I know great players don't always (& often don't) make great coaches. But one cannot help but feel that Maradona's winning experience should be useful to "pass down" to Argentina's young generation.
Three, he will have the footballers respect. Due to his legendary status in Argentina, the footballers will all look up to him. People in Argentina simply will listen to him; he's got that presence about him. They might look to Maradona the coach & think: "He was my hero. Now he's my coach. He won the World Cup, gave a lot for Argentina & achieved much for Argentina. I want that success, too, I want to win the World Cup too & I will give my all for Argentina". Some observers feel that part of the problem faced by Basile was the "generational gap" - he could not relate to the young generation in the Argentina squad. Maradona should not have such issues.

Given the above, perhaps Maradona's appointment is not all bad. Perhaps. Who knows? I still would have preferred someone more experience to have been appointed. Personally, my top 2 choices would be Miguel Angel Russo & Sergio Batista. But we now have Maradona. Of course, as I'm a great fan of Argentinian football, I would love it if Maradona prove my misgivings wrong, & achieve great success as Argentina's coach. I wish Maradona the best of luck! Vamos Maradona, & vamos Argentina!

Women drivers

This morning on the Freeway,
I looked over to my left and there was a

Woman

in a brand new

Holden Calaise


doing 110 kms per hr

with her
face up next to her

rear view mirror

putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away

for a couple seconds


and when I looked back she was

halfway over in my lane,


still working on that makeup.


As a man,

I don't scare easily.


But she scared me so much;

I dropped

my electric shaver,


which knocked

the meat pie

out of my other hand.

In all
the confusion of trying

to straighten out the car

using my knees against
the steering wheel,


it knocked

my mobile phone


away from my ear


which fell


into the coffee

between my legs,


splashed,


and burned


Big Jim and the Twins,


ruined the phone,


soaked my trousers,


And disconnected an

important call.


bloody women drivers!!

Stick humour

Stock Market terms - updated for 2008

CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET: A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER: What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR: Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER: A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO: What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS: What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT: An archaic word no longer in use.

What it looks like to lose control

First home owners grant increase! Game on!

Kevin Rudd (Australia's Prime Minister) has announced today a stimulus plan for pensioners & first-home buyers in Australia. The stimulus for first-home buyers' is this: The first home owners grant will be increased from $7000 to $14,000 and first home buyers who purchase a newly constructed home will receive $21,000 in a bid to encourage activity in the housing sector. (Courier Mail)

But there is one proviso:

The first-home buyers scheme will be time limited. All contracts entered into by June 30 next year will be eligible for the new assistance. (The Age)

The Government will invest about $1.5 billion in the housing market over 2008/09 and 2009/10 through this initiative.

''This measure will provide an immediate stimulus for new housing and help restore business confidence across the sector particularly in the building manufacturing sector,'' said Ron Silberberg, managing director of lobby group, Housing Industry Association.

However, the building of houses needed to be cranked up by 45,000 a year to cover present demand, but this proposal is a step in the right direction, the HIA said in a release.

In its wider support package for families, the Government said about 3.9 million Australian children will receive a $1,000 one-off benefit, also commencing on December 8.

Families who receive Family Tax Benefit (A), families with children who receive the Youth Allowance, Abstudy or a benefit from the Veteran Children's Education scheme will be eligible.

Budget impact

The $10.4 billion spending plan will tap into a budget surplus that the Government had forecast would come in at $21.7 billion, prior to the worst of the market turmoil taking hold.

The Government plans to publish a full budget update in the Mid-Year Economic and Fiscal Outlook within a month.

The accelerated spending will serve as "a buffer" against the likely drag on the economy resulting from the global slowdown, Mr Rudd said.

The Government remains determined to take ''whatever action is necessary in the future'' to maintain stability of the Australian financial system and underpin positive economic growth, Mr Rudd said.

Asked about the effect the package would have on inflation, Mr Swan cited the RBA's view that '"inflation will begin to turn down following a peak in December."

"The risk of inflation is now abating,'' Mr Swan said.

''We trust the government took into account'' the impact the extra spending would have on inflation and on the RBA's ability to continue to cutting rates,'' said Opposition Leader Mr Turnbull.

RBC Capital Markets senior currency strategist Sue Trinh said the overall effect of the package won't stop the RBA from lowering rates.

''Australia is in a very enviable position right now," she said.

Training, nation-building

As indicated in recent days, the Government plans to accelerate its so-called nation building efforts to stoke domestic demand, taking up some of the slack as consumers and businesses cut back spending.

Ministers will bring forward their interim infrastructure report so that work can start in 2009 in the key areas of education and research, health and hospitals, and transport and communications, Mr Rudd said today.

The Government will be seeking pre-referral of the legislation for the nation building funds into a Senate committee this week.

As part of today's extra outlays, the Government will spend $187 million to create an extra 56,000 training places this financial year.

The ''productivity places program'' will be doubled from 57,000 to 113,000 places, taking the Government investment in training places since April to more than $400 million, Mr Rudd said.

Emissions trading

The federal government is sticking to its plan to start emissions trading in 2010, despite global financial turmoil.

''Our ambition remains 2010,'' Mr Rudd said. ''Climate change is not going to go away.''

''The long-term economic cost to the entire economy, and to the entire global economy, of not acting on climate change remains formidable.''

Business wanted consistency and predictability in the area of emissions trading, Mr Rudd said, adding that it was important to get the scheme's design and rules right, and to map it out early.

The federal opposition and some business figures have called for emissions trading to be delayed in the wake of the crisis.

The opposition says 2011 or 2012 would be a better time to introduce the scheme.

BusinessDay with AAP, Reuters

Mr DT's response to the above: It's game on!

And now, the AUD has crashed to 5-year low :(

Given the fall in my investments & super account (which I ranted about in the previous post), any thoughts that the week can't get any worse have just been swiftly dashed. My brother Ryan just told me that the Australian $ (AUD) exchange rate against the Malaysian Ringgit (RM) has gone down - it's now AUD1 = RM2.23. His announcement completely shocked me & made me dismayed. Then I later discovered on the internet that the AUD has crashed to a 5-year low. The details of the crash made for a depressing reading. Sheesshhhh....

Just a few months ago, it was RM 2.90, even RM3 for every AUD. At the time, I did consider converting some money to RM because I'll be heading to Malaysia at the end of this year. I didn't act, & now I'm furious & feel like kicking myself, because now I have to bring more money with me to Malaysia.

Fantastic, thank u very much. This is just what I need, after my investments & superannuation have devalued. Arrrrrrgggghhhhh! I'm not happy! I'm cursing Lady Luck & I'm waiving my fist at the global financial markets, at all the elements, for causing the AUD to drop. **DT waves his fist harder**

What have I done to deserve all this??? What's going to happen next?? My car get confiscated by the authorities??! Am I going to be placed under house arrest?? Internet ban??

Eeeerrrrrrrrrr, I think I'm going beserk. I really need some wintermelon tea. Hmmmm, where's the nearest Easy Way outlet when u need them? Say, there's a couple in the CBD. Guess I'll have to wait till tomorrow then when I'm on my way to work. Bah humbug.....

My money's going down :(

My investments & superannuation (also known in some countries as provident fund) are not in good shape at the moment. And I'm not happy about it.

My shares & managed funds at the end of September 2008 were only worth little over 80% of their value at the end of March 2008. Yeah, that's effectively a drop of almost 20% in that 6 month period. Fantastic. Arrrgggh!! To be fair, I knew that shares & managed funds have not been in spectacular form of late. For instance, if I recall correctly, my investments in Colonial First State went down by almost $940 during the March 2008 quarter. That was at a time when the stock market was not considered to be in a very bad shape. So if my Colonial First State investments went down by $940 during the first 3 months of the year, I would hate to imagine how much more it has fallen by the end of September 2008. And that is just 1 managed fund institution. I got quite a few more managed fund investments, & as already mentioned, they fell by almost 20% in the 6 months to 30/9/2008.

My super has not been performing much better. My super account balance at the end of June 2008 is about 10-15% lower than the balance at the end of December 2007. In the 6 months to June 2008, my super account has been getting the usual mandatory employer superannuation contribution. But all that money coming in was more than outweighed by the size of the negative earnings during the period. And then, there's the usual administration/management fee that gets deducted from the super balance. Of course, my managed funds also get slogged by management fees. All of them do.

My hard-earned money is going down the drain! Nnnnnooooooooo! Ggggrrrrrrrr! I am officially not a happy man :(

[FFO] Drunk Finalists - 2008

8th place

7th place



6th place



5th place



4th place



3rd place



2nd place



And 1st place goes to......
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